Friday, May 20, 2011

In Which We Finally Kiss

It took weeks of careful plotting on J's part to get either of us to acknowledge that there might be something going on. We were new to actual dating - previous courtships went approximately as follows:

Person One: You're cute.
Person Two: You're hot.
Person One:  Do you wanna go out?
Person Two: Ok.
Persons One and Two: YAAAAY LOVE FOREVER!

 It really didn't help that I liked her - it seemed like a lot to lose if it didn't work out.

Eventually, we actually started texting. And IMing (which was still a thing in 2007). It turned into talking at cafes until they kicked us out. But neither of us could pull the trigger.

One afternoon, Bug invited me back to her room to watch Imagine Me & You. Movies are the ideal college pretext - there's no where to sit in a dorm room, aside from on a bed. "This is it," I thought to myself. As we walked back to her place, I turned bright red, because I was absolutely positive everyone could sense I was walking into my very first college hook up. 

We got to her room, turned on the movie, and sat on the bed. Six inches apart. And we did not move an inch.  I watched very little of the movie, because I was so painfully aware that my little finger was two inches from her leg. 

And then the movie ended. We sat silently, without moving, for about eight years (30 seconds). I counted the afternoon as a bust, brushed myself off, and left. I walked out, and immediately called J. "Ugh, I sat there for two hours, and no one could make a move! What is WRONG WITH US?"

And then J's phone beeped. On the other line: 

"Fuck, J. We sat there for two hours, and I didn't even make a move. I ruined EVERYTHING." 

So J laughed at us. We deserved it. She dispatched my friend Alex to sit with me at the nearest coffee shop and talk me down, and called Bug over for a serious pep talk. One Bug's spirits had been sufficiently raised, J told her where to find me, and Bug wandered over to give things another try. 

Bug: I'd really like to not mess this up. Will you take a walk with me? 
Me: Sure. 

So Bug started speed walking down the street. It was very clear that she did not have any kind of plan -mostly because she turned around and said "No, I do not know where we're going." She darted across the street. It was becoming less clear whether I was supposed to follow her, or if she was running away from me.  I took a chance and followed anyway. 

We walked into a small courtyard on campus. The courtyard was already claimed by a couple who were tenderly mauling each other's faces. This is the point at which I actually started laughing. Bug, still three steps ahead of me, let out an exasperated sigh and stomped through the courtyard to the lower quad. In the middle of the quad, she stopped and turned to face me. And the sprinklers turned on. I stopped trying to repress my laughter, and poor Bug got even more flustered. She stomped her way through the sprinklers to a bench on the other side of the quad, and sat down. I sat next to her. And we both looked straight ahead. I fear this may be the point at which my laughter became cruel. 

To make up for it, I stood up, turned, and took Bug's hand to pull her to her feet. She stepped forward, put her hands on my waist, and I panicked while I tried to figure out where my hands were supposed to go. We kissed. 

And I mean we KISSED. A year long crush, weeks of pent up passion, and a full day of missed attempts came out all at once. First kisses are magical - there should be some way to bottle that stuff. 

By the time we came up for air, we were being congratulated by a charming (inebriated) young man wearing a crown. 

He obviously did not notice my trouble with hand placement.

By the end of the weekend, we were officially dating. 

The Meet Cute

Alternatively: The Ways in Which Meeting My Bug Displays My Social Awkwardness.

My college had a very small gay community. The gay kids all know each other - or at least the cool ones do. My friend J was one such cool kid. She knew all the other gays, and was so fabulous she actually chose her friends from among them, instead of just seeing which ones stuck. She and future Bug became friends, bonded through their mutual love of cigarettes (is this a universal lesbian thing? All the ladies I went to college with smoked).

J and I became very close friends. I spent half of my freshman year pretending I had a very serious future with a girl who was at best mildly interested in me, and the other half of the year up to my neck in a family crisis that led me to apply to transfer to a school much closer to home. I ran into Bug a few times, at slightly larger gatherings (don't think this meant I was cool enough to attend legitimate parties - "slightly larger" was a four person game of Scrabble). I started hoping she'd show up at every small gathering, and developed a subtle but persistent crush.

After all, what's not to love about this:

So my freshman year came and went.  I was the last of my friends to move back into the dorm Sophomore year. So J offered to come help me haul my stuff into my new room. When the car stopped outside the dorm, I saw Bug standing at the side of the road with J. My heart skipped a beat, and I realized I REALLY liked her.

So I told J. Who sneakily told Bug. And then told me that Bug knew, so that I could proceed to nothing at all.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

A Wedding Bug Crash Course

I've been reading wedding blogs for about a year now. I feel like I've consumed more than my fair share - it's time to give SOMETHING back to even it all out. Also, I have a touch of narcissism, which blogging fuels nicely.

I proposed on July 7, 2009. We're still a year and a half away from a wedding. Why such a long engagement?

  1. We're young. We met in college, and I proposed right before starting my senior year. 
  2. We're broke. My lady has a fabulous job, and I have been financial dead weight. I graduate with my Master's Degree in two weeks, at which point I will (hopefully) become more useful. 
  3. We're gay. We stalled long enough that marriage equality passed in nearby D.C., and was voted down in Maryland, where we live. But we're winning, slowly but surely - the longer we wait, the better our chances are of being legally married during our ceremony. 
To bring everyone fully up to speed: