Person One: You're cute.
Person Two: You're hot.
Person One: Do you wanna go out?
Person Two: Ok.
Persons One and Two: YAAAAY LOVE FOREVER!
It really didn't help that I liked her - it seemed like a lot to lose if it didn't work out.
Eventually, we actually started texting. And IMing (which was still a thing in 2007). It turned into talking at cafes until they kicked us out. But neither of us could pull the trigger.
One afternoon, Bug invited me back to her room to watch Imagine Me & You. Movies are the ideal college pretext - there's no where to sit in a dorm room, aside from on a bed. "This is it," I thought to myself. As we walked back to her place, I turned bright red, because I was absolutely positive everyone could sense I was walking into my very first college hook up.
We got to her room, turned on the movie, and sat on the bed. Six inches apart. And we did not move an inch. I watched very little of the movie, because I was so painfully aware that my little finger was two inches from her leg.
And then the movie ended. We sat silently, without moving, for about eight years (30 seconds). I counted the afternoon as a bust, brushed myself off, and left. I walked out, and immediately called J. "Ugh, I sat there for two hours, and no one could make a move! What is WRONG WITH US?"
And then J's phone beeped. On the other line:
"Fuck, J. We sat there for two hours, and I didn't even make a move. I ruined EVERYTHING."
So J laughed at us. We deserved it. She dispatched my friend Alex to sit with me at the nearest coffee shop and talk me down, and called Bug over for a serious pep talk. One Bug's spirits had been sufficiently raised, J told her where to find me, and Bug wandered over to give things another try.
Bug: I'd really like to not mess this up. Will you take a walk with me?
Me: Sure.
So Bug started speed walking down the street. It was very clear that she did not have any kind of plan -mostly because she turned around and said "No, I do not know where we're going." She darted across the street. It was becoming less clear whether I was supposed to follow her, or if she was running away from me. I took a chance and followed anyway.
We walked into a small courtyard on campus. The courtyard was already claimed by a couple who were tenderly mauling each other's faces. This is the point at which I actually started laughing. Bug, still three steps ahead of me, let out an exasperated sigh and stomped through the courtyard to the lower quad. In the middle of the quad, she stopped and turned to face me. And the sprinklers turned on. I stopped trying to repress my laughter, and poor Bug got even more flustered. She stomped her way through the sprinklers to a bench on the other side of the quad, and sat down. I sat next to her. And we both looked straight ahead. I fear this may be the point at which my laughter became cruel.
To make up for it, I stood up, turned, and took Bug's hand to pull her to her feet. She stepped forward, put her hands on my waist, and I panicked while I tried to figure out where my hands were supposed to go. We kissed.
And I mean we KISSED. A year long crush, weeks of pent up passion, and a full day of missed attempts came out all at once. First kisses are magical - there should be some way to bottle that stuff.
By the time we came up for air, we were being congratulated by a charming (inebriated) young man wearing a crown.
He obviously did not notice my trouble with hand placement.
By the end of the weekend, we were officially dating.
